Dear Friends and Family,
Wow, it's been two months since we wrote a blog! I guess we're not very consistent at writing these blogs. Nevertheless, God has been doing so much in our hearts and minds over the past couple of months, and we hope to be able to convey that in an open and honest way how He has been working in us and changing us. I will just start by listing a couple of verses that the Holy Spirit has used a lot and that signify the work He is doing in us, and then go from there. Romans 5:3-5 says, "Not only so, but we glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope; and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Another one, II Corinthians 12:10, says "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." One last one, one we all know, talks about what happens when the Holy Spirit fills us up with His power to do His work for His glory. Acts 1:8 says, "For you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
In relation to those verses that we listed above, God has been doing difficult but amazing things in us. One thing that both Becki and I have experienced since arriving in the Philippines is how incredibly weak and vulnerable we feel in relation to all the adjustments to culture and language that we face multiple times on a daily basis. We cannot begin to describe how utterly useless we have felt at times with the language, with not knowing how to do things, not knowing how to figure people out because of the barrier of culture and language. I don't think I realized how difficult it would be in making all the adjustments, but it has been the hardest thing by far that I have ever done. I find myself getting angy at different situations that arise, having negative thoughts towards some Filipinos (something of course that I shouldn't be doing) and this country, and comparing the Philippines to the U.S. We feel so weak in terms of controlling our emotions and having the attitude of Christ. I think it is easy to throw around the phrase "having the attitude of Christ" (as I have done in the past), but I am finding out that it is a whole different "animal" in living that out in the middle of difficult situations. It is in these incredibly difficult situations that God is teaching us what it means to be weak, to fully depend on him, to let go of our own confidence and put our confidence in Him and trust that the Holy Spirit will fill us up and give us what we need, for HIS glory and not ours. I'm learning that it's really not about us. Being weak and utterly dependent on Christ is exactly where God wants us to be! Not only this, but we need to be in a place where we delight to be in a place of weakness so that God is glorified. I am definitely not at that place yet, but that is where God is directing me. For awhile now, I have been so concerned about how others viewed me as it relates to learning Tagalog. The Lord showed my that I had been motivated to learn the language out of fear- fear of failure/ineffectiveness in ministry, fear of not being good enough, fear of being viewed by others as "not very good at Tagalog." The Lord has shown me clearly that it's not about me and my self esteem; it's about putting my confidence fully in Him, knowing that He called us here and that He is going to use us here for His glory. Furthermore, He is able to help us learn Tagalog so that He can use us here. There is an old Keith Green song, "Trials Turned to Gold", in which Keith sings about "He's brought me low, so I could know, the way to reach the heights. To forsake my dreams, my self esteem, and give up all my rights." This part of the song communicates what the Lord is doing in me. I'm not saying that having some confidence to do something is a bad thing, but to lean on my own confidence and abilities is something that the Lord doesn't want me to do. So, how should you pray for us? I recently read in Deuteronomy how God told the Israelite people "do not be afraid, do not be discouraged." You can pray against fear for us, that we will be motivated by love to learn the language and culture and not by fear of the things I previously listed. You can pray against discouragement, and that when times of discouragement arise, that we can immediately look to the Lord to help and to mold us through the situation instead of complaining about it. Pray that our love for the Filipino people will continue to increase. We do love the people here and have already made some good Filipino friends, but pray that God's love will abound in us beyond our own love. Continue to pray for the boys as they have started school (preschool for Elijah, kindergarten for Isaiah) that they will be able to adjust quickly and that they will make some good friends. Before I end this blog, I want to return to the end of that verse in Romans. "Hope does not put us to shame, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts." All of these things that we are learning and journeying through together with Jesus Christ, they will result in an amazing hope in Christ that won't disappoint us! Thank you so much to everyone for your prayers and support- keep them coming! Take care, we love you all!
Love,
Matt, Becki, Isaiah, and Elijah
